Passion
by eL-ch4n
Summary: She knew they were not meant together, thus she kept her feeling inside. But little did she know that he also had the same thing for her, however, he was too selfish to keep her for himself. Lightis. Au


**Warning : **Grammatical errors and some OOC, but I tried my best not to. Enjoy reading anyway

**Disclaimer : **If I own both games, I will never let Noctis and Lightning separate from each other and I won't make this fanfic, will i?

**Themes : **

Say What You need to Say – **John Mayer**

Kiss the Rain - **Yiruma**

-x-  
**Passion  
**created** by eL-ch4n  
**1**0.**13.2**0**1**0  
**-x-

Noctis Lucis Caelum. It was his name, the name of the man that I will always love deep inside my heart. Though I was pretty upset to know he realized it already yet pretended not to know. Well, but I had to say that the days I had spent with him were the happiest days in my life ever. I wished it could last forever, but I knew that it was just a wish.

That morning was different though. He got up from his sleep, still yawning, walked to the kitchen, where I was preparing for the breakfast, and greeted me like usual. He read the newspapers on the dining table while sitting and having a cup of his morning coffee. Like any other morning, I made the breakfast, only that time was different. So, see, when I was flapping the egg, I heard a loud 'Thud' sound (I thought it was sound of something that he slipped). But soon I found it was not a 'thing' more likely a human. He fainted to the floor and that was enough to make me scare that I even left all the things behind.

I crushed to him, quickly took him back to his room. He was sick, I had known that. People on the age like that easily felt sick. Fortunately he had me to look after him. But anyway, I put him on his bed, covered him with the blanket. Softly I caressed his hair. Still it was so soft and so silk. I looked at him sadly, probably staring right to his closed eyes. I was wondering back then, what he would say if knew that I _have _a _heart_. Well, he would surely surprise at first but maybe he would look at me softly like he always did. Damn, since when did I become so melancholy like this? Urgh… I guessed it can't be helped.

Watching him like this, I was afraid that I could slip out the word from my mouth easily. To tell the truth, I was not really sure about what I felt before he told me about it. Well, I guessed it was his job right? Yeah, if only he would see more than _that_.

Slowly I could feel that he was waking up. He opened his eyes slowly then looked at me softly. His bluish eyes stared at mine deeply. Gosh, every time he did that, I knew somehow he could read all my minds. Damn him and his _reading_. If only he could read my _heart _also.

"_**Claire**_…" He called my name slowly, stretching out his hand to tell me to get closer to him. I did what he wanted me to. I leaned closer to him, to take a better look at him. I had to say, despite his ages, he still looked very handsome with his grayish blue hair, white smooth skin, and the most penetrating blue eyes ever.

I did not say anything to reply him. Instead, I just looked at him, staring to be truth. "How much do you think I have left?" When he asked this, he turned his head to stare at the ceiling.

"According to my calculation you still have 3 more hours 27 minutes and 13 seconds and by then the 13 seconds almost reach the end." I tried my best to still put my _mask_. No, I could not let him know the real me. No, I had to wait until I could let off my _mask_. But, I did not want that. If letting of my mask, meaning I could never see him anymore, I **do not** want that. Curse this stupid thing call _age_ and time.

"I see, 3 more hours, eh?" He murmured slowly yet it was clear enough for me. I nodded as my answer to his question. "Well, I guess, you can do another thing first right, Claire? Then when it reaches 30 minutes, you'll come back, how's that?" Even though I did not want that badly, I nodded my head slowly and walked off from his room.

'_I had to be strong_. _3 more hours, Claire. Just 3 more hours. You can keep this up!'_ I leaned myself on the door, staring at the ceiling as it was the greatest thing ever. I sighed. I need to find another activity then for the last 3 hours. If only I could keep my head busy.

-x-

_3_ hours had passed already and it meant 27 minutes left. This, will be the last, I told myself many times. With all the strength I had left, I opened the door slowly. While doing so, I tried to peek inside to see how he would look. To my astonishment, he was still sleeping. _Could he?_ No, my calculation was perfect!

"Claire, come in." His voice broke all my curiosity. I guessed he must felt very tired. Well, I couldn't blame him. It was his _nature_. I walked closer to him and then I sat on a chair next to his bed like before. He did not look at me, more likely he was staring at the ceiling. A few minutes had passed and finally he spoke. It was the softest tone I have ever heard coming out from him. He looked at me sadly. "Claire, you do not have to put that _mask _anymore. You do not have to pretend anymore."

_What was he talking about? Did he just tell me not to put my mask anymore? Yeah, he did. Oh, does that mean he has already known about it?_

"What? What mask? What the hell are you talking about here?" I tried to stay calm but I knew it fail because he could sense my panic through my voice. Because of his staring, I could not take it anymore, so, I let out another sigh. "Why?" I asked as my _mask _was breaking slowly. Yes, slowly, my trueself was revealed. "Why now?" I asked softly, only to stare at him with sadness. He, who now was staring at me directly, was giving me another sheepish smile.

"Because I do not have much time left, Claire. I have to say sorry before I go." He stopped for a moment to find a word and I just did not want to interrupt him, so, I kept silent. "I'm sorry Claire. I'm afraid that I can not stand"

Just before he could continue his sentence, I stopped him. "What do you mean by you can't stand it? I am the one who will hold it all by myself. Thanks for your _generosity _and concern, but I'm pretty sure I can handle it."

"That is why exactly I do not want to realize it, Claire." He tried to sit up on his bed. I knew that he wouldn't want me to help him, so, I let him did that by himself. "No, it's not that I do not want to realize it. I just do not want to acknowledge it."

I was broken by what he said. So, all of this time he has know already? Yet, he tried to act like usual and pretended not to know a little thing? How could he? "How could you do that?" Okay, I was screaming to a man who was really sick, but who care? I mean, I needed to know why he did that to me? Did he enjoy looking at me suffering?

"I never intend to make you suffer, Claire. It just, I can't, I'm sorry." With then, he pulled me to him, hugging me. His hands, both were circling on my waist and pulling me closer again to him. He rested his head on my shoulder and I could feel he was shaking. I could feel his struggling not to cry. While, on the other hand, I could not hold it anymore, so I cried softly, more likely a sobbing. Tears rolled down slowly from both my eyes.

For an exactly 3 minutes and 35 seconds later he broke the hug. When he did that, a part of me felt something was missing. _Oh my, what's wrong with me?_ He stared at my eyes deeply, trying to read my minds perhaps, but oh I will not let him to do that _again_. "Is there anything worth staring for, huh?" I asked sarcastically as I could. He just smiled softly hearing my question and shook his head.

"I'm just thinking how stupid I am to ignore such beauty beside me." Oh gosh, I could feel myself blushing from that _compliment_, but hell would I let him to see it. "I do not want to give you hope yet at the same time crushing it for you. You have to know one thing though Claire." He took a deep breath. "You are the best." He smiled so innocently to me. _Oh no, I am so not going to cry in front of him._

"If you just tell me you know, at least we can have spent some time and I do not have to create _such mask_. You know what? You are so cruel." I cursed under my breath, muttering some curse.

Suddenly, I could feel his hand touching my cheek softly, pulling my head up, so, we were both staring to each other. "Yes, Claire. I am too cruel that I did this at the last minute." Just then I realized how close we were. _Is he going to kiss me? But I guess he won't_. Well, my thought was correct. After another one minute and 13 seconds of staring, he lied back to his bed.

"I am a coward, Claire and that is why I do not want to take the chance. I am so selfish. It's not because I do not want to see you hurt but because I do not want myself to get hurt. Maybe because I know that we can't be together for we are _different_. Oh, how I wish that Clyde was really wrong back then."

"Do you regret everything that has happened between us?" I asked softly. Oh, I bet he could hear how my voice was trembling because of sadness and I could not hold my tears anymore. "Are you saying that you hate the time you has spent with me?" And I was really crying that time. I closed my eyes, using both my hands to cover them. "Then if you really do, just go!" I shouted at him. I was really mad at him. How could he say that? How could he think something like that?

Slowly, his hands touched mine. He did not try to pull it away, he just hold them for a long time, like he was praying. "I pray to God many times, thank Him for giving me more time, but most of all, I thank Him for having you by my side. You do not know how precious you are to me, Claire. That is why I was so afraid of losing you to another person. I can't stand to _see_ you with someone else. It just does not feel right."

"You stupid, arrogant, bastard, selfish. If you say so, I will definitely do it for you." I removed my hands slowly, still held by his hands.

He smiled sadly to me. "That is also another reason for me to hide it, my dear Claire." When he said that, I knew his time has already arrived. Slowly, he took off his hands from mine, and laid down again, letting me in agony.

"Don't you dare to go after telling me such a thing." I mumbled slowly, but he just sheepishly smiled and looked at me. He whispered something, so soft that I could only hear only if I leaned myself closer to him. My eyes widened after I heard everything. Just when I had acknowledged it, he had gone _forever_.

-x-

That was my past. It happened about 20 years ago. Such a long time, huh? Yeah, right, but time _doesn't _matter to me. For me, 2 years, 12 years, 20 years, all are just the same. They did not give me any impact. I was sitting on the last stairs. A tap on my shoulder made me turn around only to see _Vanille_ standing behind me. She gave me smile then joined me.

"What are you staring at, Light?" she asked with her usual cheerful tone. Yes, now my name was not **Claire Farron**, instead I used Lightning. When my name was being asked, that was the first thing across my mind. If you asked why I did not use my real name, you would not get the answer for I, myself, don't know it either.

"Nothing." I answered calmly then continued to watch the sunset in front of us.

"They will come soon. We need to prepare, don't you think so?" She asked to me as she turned her head to look at me. I just nodded then stood up followed by her. Sigh, even though he _had gone_, I still have to do my job, which was why I was here now, standing in front of _**his**_mansion. Vanille took my hand and so hyper, stepping down the stairs. _Geez_, I wonder if she had memorized all the stairs that she wouldn't slip when she ran like that.

While following her speed, I stared at the sunset. It was red, so red. It was so different with _his appearance_. Everything about him was about black, blue and grey, but oh how that sunset could remind me of his sadness. And for the last 20 years, I could feel something wet rolling down from my tears.

**-x-**

"_I hate when Clyde was right. Geez, but anyway, I still have to give you name. From now on, you are called __**Claire Farron.**__"_

"…"

"_From now on, you are supposed to help me."_

**-x-**_  
_

"_Oh, well. I know that I am so not good in socializing with people, but did he have to say that to me? I mean, isn't he my best friend?"_

"…"

"_Oh, geez and why I can be like this whenever I am around you? It seems that I can open myself to you."_

"…_is."_

"_What?"_

"_Noctis."_

**-x-**_  
_

"_Well, you need to learn more, but I guess today's lesson was enough."_

"…"

"_Oh anyway Claire. You still have lot more to learn, don't forget about it."_

**-x-**_  
_

"_Claire, the reason you are here is because I want you to be here. You are the only one I can trust, maybe even the only one who really trust me."_

"_Why do you ask that anyway?"_

"_I… I just want to know."_

"_Sigh, well, alright. I have to be honest with you. You have to know that the first reason why you were born is because I want you to protect the Crystal."_

"_The Crystal?"_

"_Yes. Your __**task **__is __**to protect the Crystal from any harm.**__"_

"_Any harm?"_

"_Yes, including me myself. If you have to kill me, then just kill me already, do you understand? No hesitation for that, okay?"_

"…"

**-x-**

"_I'm sorry Claire that I was selfish, but I won't let you go so easily."_

**-x-**_  
_

"_Because Claire Farron, __**I love you**__."_

**-x-**_  
_

"_I will always love you, Claire. I'm sorry that I was selfish. So selfish that I only want you to only remember me always. That is why I let you know until the very last minute. It was for that reason why I kept my feeling for you for so long time. But, I know Claire, I was so selfish to do that. I was cheap. And I know Claire that someday you will soon forget me, but I won't want you to do that so soon, I want you to remember me always__**. So, Claire Farron, my last order for you is to never forget me**__."_

**-x-**

**The End**

******-x-**  


eL : Oh well, it was just a oneshot with so many mysteries and perhaps some grammatical errors. I just couldn't help myself to write this story. I got this inspiration when I was having my final tests and this idea just suddenly occurred in my mind. How about I make Noctis who was really lonely scientists-like who want someone beside him? And Lightning, who was his creation, tried to hold her feeling about Noctis because she didn't want him to know she had a **heart**. Oh well, I just thought it might be romantic. How about you gus?

Noctis : Well, I have to say that it _is _romantic, however, why you make me so OUT OF CHARACTER here?

eL : Oh well, if I make you like your usual appearance, this story won't happen, you won't have chance to be a selfish arrogant lad, who only want Lightning for himself. Do you want to let that go? Oh, well, then I should rewrite it and change it to Snow then.

Noctis : NO! Oh, well, yeah I thought that I was rather OOC there, but the thing is, I haven't known my character pretty much, so yeah, I guess it is find for me. But what about those guys out there? Don't you think they will flame you for having me so OOC?

eL : Guys, you hear him. Please tell me about this story, and if Noctis really OOC, don't flame me, but a critic will be fine

Oh, anyway, I'm trying my best to continue my other stories and I just need a refreshing, so, I make this oneshot. I hope you guys will enjoy it ^^

Noctis : Guess, I should go now.

eL : Yeah, go back to your lovely Lightning now. I bet she was waiting for you in agony right now.

Noctis : *blushing* Oh hey, you don't have to say like that!

eL : yeah, whatever, just ignore him guys, so please don't forget to review for me and thanks for reading

**Luph u all**

**eL-ch4n**


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